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“After ye’ve stuffed yer gob with turkey, tofurkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, apple pie, and every other feckin’ thing that wasn’t nailed to the table… BEST READ IN THE VOICE OF A LITTLE OLD LADY!  

Sure, ye’ll be lookin’ like a butterball turkey yerself! So get off yer arse, put down the leftovers, and come on over for a night of BELLY LAUGHS! They say laughter burns calories, and after what ye’ve eaten, darlin’, ye’ll need to laugh till Christmas!

And bring yer friends! Misery loves company, but comedy loves a full house!

NOW GO ON, YE GLUTTONOUS BASTARDS!”

Come in your soft pants, after the Thanksgiving stuffing! Be prepared to laugh!